How To Handle Criticism

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Theordore Roosevelt – The Man in The Arena

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It has been so interesting, the past day or so I have had people come up and be really critical of what I am doing and how I am showing up and in the ways I am showing up. I have really come across two types of  people; people who jump in and sign up and then people who hang out on the sidelines who I would consider to be resistant supporters because they are still giving energy to the work. 

I just wanted to share some of the ways I handle criticism and view it. If you are in your work and in what you are doing because you want praise or for people to acknowledge you you are going to be very disappointed. Of course you will get praise but you will also get a lot of people who don’t actually like what you are saying. A lot of times I will hear people’s goals and it will be really clear that a person is in it for the recognition and praise. If that is what is true for you what you need to do is step up and recognize and praise yourself now. Do what is true for you now because a lot of people who see what you are up to and be quite critical. 

I just had a guy take a picture of one of my videos and put it up with a flag of “biggest liar on the planet”- it was really interesting. So if you are in it for the praise give that to yourself ahead of time. 

The next thing is to really understand that you have to go for your truth, it doesn’t make you better or worse, you just need to stand for what is true for you. A lot of times we can get ourselves worried about what other people are saying because we aren’t just staying in our own truth or we are being paid a certain amount of money to look or act a certain way. The truth is if you stand in your truth then it is all good, it won’t matter what people are saying out there or voicing on your public feed or in your email list how in what form it comes. 

What I have come to understand is that it is not me who people are criticizing, it is just something that I am doing that is showing up in their mix that is causing them to react or feel a certain way and when they show up in reaction or rejection it is just them, not right not wrong, just the person reacting to how they received the information. And so I find a way to appreciate it. “ Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your feedback or criticism – it is all good, click the like or drop info below” I do that because it is just a response regardless. And if it is true that you decide to put yourself out there in a public way because you want to public speak, or have a youtube channel or social media- you are going to be open to all sorts of responses and feedback. And if you are looking for all sorts of praise or feedback, that needs to be dropped ahead of time. Even as a leader or a person who is more public if we carry the goal for praise and love then when the criticism comes it really hurts because it takes away from the real goals.

So my advice is find something you love that you do because you choose it, it is for the journey, the work, the growth, the experience or even because you just have to or because you believe in it. Don’t do it because it is going to fill up your recognition cup, or the value the world places on you because it can be taken away in one fell swoop or judgement. Don’t forget when you show up in a really BIG way and taking BIG steps and living your dream not only will you be inspiring people who also want that but you will be triggering people who either think they can’t have that or are not willing to step up in such a brave way. And maybe you get it wrong or maybe someone else is right- but you go for what you think is right, you have to love your journey, you have to go for it regardless.

I know so deeply that success is structural not personal, I know the personal development field is flawed, I know the ability to change neuroplasticity is real- I know these things for sure and that is what I am going to stand for. And that is what I am going to bring out to the world. 800,000people have viewed my videos, thousands of people are on my weekly calls, a lot of people are getting what they need out of this work. Not one ounce of criticism is going to knock me off my dreams because they are mine. Let your’s be yours and go for it!

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